Wussification Continues: Government Addressing Threat Of Seesaws

Posted: December 15, 2016 in Kids, Opinion, WTF?, Wussification of America

NY TimesCurrent federal guidelines state that fulcrum seesaws can be texas-seesaw-massacre-1-0-1-300x229installed safely if car tires are embedded under the seats and adequate space is left around them in case of a fall. But they are not recommended for toddlers or preschoolers. So the reaction to the guidelines in New York City, and many other places, is to phase seesaws out.

In 2000, 55 percent of playgrounds around the nation had a seesaw, according to the National Program for Playground Safety. By 2004, that number was 11 percent.

The main reason was safety. “New York City Parks has not installed seesaws for at least 30 years due to safety concerns,” said a spokesman, Sam Biederman.

Finally, this blight upon the very fabric of our society is being faced head-on. The death-traps that have been injuring our nation’s children for years are finally being removed. Unsuspecting children have been thrown off these beasts for years, and I say it’s about time, except not at all.

Honestly, the fun is being taken out of our children’s lives, man. No dodgeball, no monkey bars, no slippery slides, no trampolines and no seesaws. Hell, there was nothing more fun than getting a kid on the high end of the seesaw and getting up and walking away as he crashed to earth. Newsflash: Kids are attracted to stuff with a hint of danger, a threat of bodily harm. That’s why kids climb trees, ride bikes fast down hills, walk along the top of a fence, and jump off cliffs into water. That’s why they try to go down the slippery slide standing up. It’s scary. It’s a thrill. It’s America, damn it.

Gimme a holler.

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