Rolling Stone Has Released Its Top 20 Albums of 2016, And I Apparently Know Nothing About Music Anymore

Posted: November 30, 2016 in Music, Opinion, Rock Music
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So Rolling Stone magazine released their top albums of 2016, which is always an interesting read. It also makes me feel incredibly disconnected to modern music. You know, back in the day I’d peruse this list and would inevitably own at least half of them. Today? Not so much. That said, I shall now peruse said list and add my comments to each. Let us proceed . . .

1. “Lemonade” – Beyonce’

  • Nope. Couldn’t name one song. Not into her. Sorry Beyhive.

2. “Blackstar” – David Bowie

  • Listen, I love Bowie. However, you know the single most important thing an artist needs to do to have critics like them? Die.

3. “Coloring Book” – Chance the Rapper

  • Who?

4. “Teens of Denial” – Car Seat Headrest

  • I’ve heard a couple songs from this “hot new alt band.” Not impressed.

5. “Blonde” – Frank Ocean

  • Any relation to Billy? Caribbean Queen? Get Out of My Dreams and Into My Car? Nothing? OK.

6. “A Moon Shaped Pool” – Radiohead

  • Wait. Radiohead made an album?

7. “Blue and Lonesome” – Rolling Stones

  • Wait. The Rolling Stones are still alive?

8. “The Life of Pablo” – Kanye West

  • Not my cup of tea. And his music would have to be really, really good to overcome his abhorrent, narcissistic behavior.

9. “You Want It Darker” – Leonard Cohen

  • Cohen has always been a critic’s darling. I can take it or leave it.

10. “Jeffrey” – Young Thug

  • Who?

11. “A Seat at the Table” – Solange

  • Who?

12. “Stranger to Stranger” – Paul Simon

  • Listen, I know I may hold a grudge a little too long, but I haven’t liked Paul Simon since he said, “The world is waiting for two reunions. Simon and Garfunkel and The Beatles.” He said it in 1977 and it still makes me cringe that he compared the two.

13. “Hero” – Maren Morris

  • Who?

14. “Revolution” – Green Day

  • Hey, I love Green Day. Always have. And this album is pretty much what we’ve been getting from the last 3-4 albums. Good stuff.

15. “Return to Love” – Lvl Up

  • Who?

16. “The Weight of These Wings” – Miranda Lambert

  • I like Miranda Lambert. I think she’s really good and from what I’ve heard of it this is a good album.

17. “Human Performance” – Parquet Courts

  • Who?

18. “I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware of It” The 1975

  • I love The 1975. They remind me of MGMT which is a good thing. And that title is stellar.

19. “Atrocity Exhibition” – Danny Brown

  • Who?

20. “Skeleton Tree” – Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds

  • Meh. Never been a huge fan. They’ve always been a little too arrogant and self-important to me.

Oh, and did you know that Elton John and The Monkees both released new albums this year? It’s true, man. Who knew? Guess I need to pay more attention?

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