BREAKING: Ronald McDonald “Laying Low” For Awhile

Posted: October 12, 2016 in Humor, News, Things I Hate
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Ronald McDonald, the iconic clown mascot of McDonald’s, is laying low a98158_ronald_11until the clown craze in the country dies down, the fast-food giant said Tuesday.

McDonald’s said Americans will see less of the recognizable red-haired jester in the yellow suit as the company remains “thoughtful in respect to Ronald McDonald’s participation in community events” as a result of the “current climate around clown sightings in communities,” according to the Associated Press.

Sightings of creepy clowns have been on the rise and have spread to more than two dozen states since late August when reports surfaced that clowns were trying to lure children into the woods in South Carolina.

Man, when I first read that Ronald McDonald was laying low I assumed he’d finally been busted for inappropriate behavior with Birdie the Early Bird or something. Possibly a salacious relationship with that cute drive-thru worker. Instead I see he’s taking the low-road, chickening out and hiding because of the recent clown hysteria. Shouldn’t Ronald McDonald be out there fighting the clown fight, leading the charge for all good clowns everywhere?

Wait. There aren’t any. Never mind.

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