Woman Hit By “Mysterious” Falling Catfish. In Related News, People Are Morons.

Posted: September 12, 2016 in Animals, Assclowns, Humor

PHILADELPHIA (CBS)File this one under strange and unusual . . . and catfishmaybe even hilarious. A woman walking in Fairmount Park earlier this week was hit by a mysterious fish that fell from the sky above.

Lisa Lobree said she was walking a path between Kelly Drive and the Waterworks Pier on Labor Day morning, when she heard a rustling in the trees above. Then something came crashing down and hit her in the head.

“I think it might have been head, face, and neck because I smelled so bad afterwards. I smelled disgusting,” she said.

As she regained her composure, a friend she was walking with found the culprit.

“It bounced off Annie. Annie sees me go down, turns around, looks and goes ‘Oh my God! It was a fish,’” Lobree said.

Lobree suffered a small cut to her face and some swelling from the catfish, which was over a foot long. She admits to being a bit hysterical at first, but now she can see the humor in the bizarre story.

“Think it’s just nice it’s giving people a good story to laugh at.”

Sigh. So the good people of Philadelphia really believe a catfish fell from the heavens above, just randomly out of the wild blue yonder? For realz?

Uh, kids, that “rustling” you heard in the tree was a bird. A pretty big one, judging from the size of the fish. Said bird then dropped the fish by accident, or possibly on purpose since since Lisa Lobree and her friend Annie are such pinheads.

Good Lord.



Gimme a holler.

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