A Message to the Graduates and Their Families

Posted: May 25, 2016 in Education, Opinion
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OK, maybe a polite suggestion.

Folks, graduation is coming up. High School Graduation Day is a huge day forgraduation every young person, the one big day to celebrate completing 12-years of education. OK, 13 counting kindergarten. And no, I don’t count those ridiculous pre-school or 8th Grade graduations. I still can’t get used to either of these. Why are we rewarding kids for passing pre-school? Did they stay within the lines in their coloring books? Does anyone ever fail pre-school? Seems silly to me. Congratulations Hunter! You made it through one-year of education! Woohoo!

Good Lord.

And what about 8th-grade graduations? We’re celebrating making it past 8th Grade? That’s an accomplishment? What is this, 1877? Don’t we expect kids to make it through 12th Grade these days?

But anyway, back to Graduation Day. Parents and family members, I beseech you – show a little class on this special day. I know you’re proud, but don’t whoop, holler, or God forbid yeehaw. Don’t act like the graduate you’re there to support is the first member of your family to make it through high school. It’s embarrassing. For the love of God, I’ve heard families whistling, clapping and stomping as if the graduate is the first family member to get that piece of paper. What’s next, air horns?

Seriously, this is not a sporting event. Your graduate didn’t score the winning touchdown or hit the game-winning shot. The student you’re here to support did what they were supposed to do. They graduated. It’s a serious ceremony, not a party. That comes afterwards. Hell, afterwards you can party like it’s 1999.*

*Prince reference. RIP Purple One.

So act like ya been there, people. Please.

And hey, graduates? Please, no dabbing, no backflips, no preening and dancing and acting like a fool up there. Show some poise. Accept that diploma with a handshake, a smile and perhaps a nod of the head to your family out in the audience. You have bigger things ahead, man. Graduating from high school won’t be the highlight of your life.

So congrats on the milestone, because it’s a big one. Now accept it with the respect it deserves.

graduates

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Gimme a holler.

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