Woman arrested in Florida supermarket during “drug fueled joyride out of hell.”

Posted: December 28, 2015 in Humor, News

Lecanto, Florida: The Citrus County Sheriff’s Office arrested a woman in a Pigglywigglylocal Piggly Wiggly on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a drug fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman’s been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of chicken and wine. She told the authorities she’s homeless.

Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

Boy, tough break for Josseleen Elida Lopez, huh? What’s the world coming to when you can’t cruise your local Piggly Wiggly while eating a tub of chicken and jugging a bottle of Yellowtail? What the hell, man? And who says Josseleen wasn’t going to pay up anyway? Outrageous!

PS – I once ate an entire box of Cheez-Its while grocery shopping and proudly paid for the empty box when I checked out. That’s how I roll.

PSS – You can get arrested for carrying syringes? Maybe she was a diabetic.

PSSS – If you don’t think I’m going to use the phrase “drug fueled joyride out of hell” in an upcoming blog you’re out of your skull. 


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