The Evolution of Modern Technology

Posted: August 31, 2015 in History, Humor, Technology
Tags:

Well, that accelerated quickly. Good God, man. Technology. And to think I used to be thrilled when my answering machine light was blinking. The anticipation! Anyway, it sure is weird to think that 20-years ago there was no YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and very few cell phones or laptops. And nobody was texting, man. Why do that when you could actually, you know, talk to somebody? Just watch “Friends” reruns on TV. What are those people doing? Sitting around and (gasp) making conversation? That has to confuse the hell out of an 18-year old, amirite? Whenever those poor schmucks want to speak with anyone not in the room they have to walk over and pick up that thing that’s attached to the wall by a chord and call them. Barbaric.

Anywho, what follows is a brief history of technology.

1944: The first operational computer was used at Harvard. Let’s just say it didn’t fit in your pocket.

amrk1

1975: The development of microprocessors made the concept of personal computing possible. It has begun, people. Be afraid.

1976: The first Apple computer was released. It looked, well, a little primitive. Is that a wooden back?

Da hell?

Da hell?

1981: The first personal computer was released by the IBM Company.

1986: The number of PC’s shipped worldwide reaches nearly 64-million and a 15-year period of continuous growth began. How many of you had one in ’86?

1988: Recordable discs became available. Woot! CDs man!

1989: The World Wide Web was invented. Regular folk had no access yet, mainly because we didn’t have a computer.

1990: The laptop was introduced. Prior to this the term referred to some sort of strip club maneuver.

Looks like a suitcase.

Also called Mr. Bulky.

1993: The World Wide Web (WWW) is released to the public.

1995: Microsoft launches Windows 95 & Internet Explorer, selling more than 1-million copies in the first 4-days of its release.

1996: Approximately 40 million people are connected to the internet.

1997: Recordable and re-writeable DVD discs become available.

1998: MP3 digital music technology is introduced by Diamond Multimedia Systems, Inc. Albums, cassettes, tapes and CDs will all be dead soon, although albums make a valiant comeback. Yes!

1999: Napster is founded, giving users the ability to share music online. Napster, man!

napster-logo_1498346c

Cool logo.

2000: Approximately 400-million people worldwide are connected to the Internet by the end of the year. Also known as, “The Year We Were Officially Hooked”.

2002: The industry ships the 1-billionth PC.

2003: Electronic devices (Smartphones) that could send emails, access the web and could receive phone calls became commercial. Actual human social interaction ceases, and kids begin to lose the ability to look each other in the eye.

2004: Mark Zuckerberg launched “The Facebook” to students at Harvard by invite only after he stole the idea from the Winklevoss twins. True story. Zuckerberg, man. What a dick.

Facebook-2004
2005: Social networking sites begin to gain popularity. Fat, ugly 75-year old men begin hitting on 23-year old hotties from their mother’s basement.

2006: Facebook opened its membership to everyone over the age of 13 with a valid email addresses. The age restriction means nothing because kids, you know, lie.

2007: Amazon releases the first Kindle reader. To this day, books are better.

2007: The first generation iPhone was released.

iphone-original
2009: The BlackBerry Curve is the most popular phone device on the market, dominating the smart phone category in sales. It had a nice run but was eventually crushed by the iPhone.

2010: Apple released the first iPad handheld computer.

2012: Apple introduces the iPad mini.

2018: There are over 2-billion Facebook users worldwide who spend over 100,000 billion hours on social media each month. We’ve been overcome, overwhelmed and about to be overdosed.

So there ya go, the rise of computer technology. The question is, will there be a fall? Stay tuned.

dun

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