The “22 Trends Men Hate and Why” list is flawed, mostly inaccurate. Here’s my take.

Posted: July 25, 2015 in Humor, Opinion
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So the Huffington Post put out this list, and it purports to list 22 things men hate about women’s fashion. The list, as you shall soon see, is ridiculous. As is my custom, I’ll show you the list followed by my take. The Huffington Posts (HP) comments are above the photos, my comments are below the photos.  Read on readers . . .

1. Peplums.

HP: “Those dresses with an extra piece on them. Men are like, “Why is that there?”

Peplumfest!

My first thought here was, “What the hell’s a peplum?” My second was, “Why would I care if there’s an extra flap on somebody’s dress?”  Trust me, men don’t care about peplums.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

2. Body Mist

HP: “Smelling like cupcakes and fairy dust is a huge turn-off.”

mist.jpg

First off, fairy dust isn’t real so that’s a dumb thing to say. You may as well say she smelled like a unicorn. Secondly, I’ve never smelled a woman who had the scent of cupcakes, but if I ever do I’m pretty sure I’ll like it.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

3. Sticky Lip Gloss

HP: “Who wants to kiss all that gooey goo?

lip

Answer? I do. I want to kiss all that gooey goo. If you kiss enough it goes away. Der.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

4. Sneakers

HP: “Men prefer a woman in heels, not Jordans.”

shoes

Now they’re just being stupid. I think a woman in sneakers is sexy. Heels too. Who the hell cares what’s adorning their feet?

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

5. Yoga Pants

HP: “If you’re not going to yoga, what’s the point? Put some pants on!”

The legendary Butt Selfie.

Listen carefully here. I don’t know one man who dislikes yoga pants. Nary a one. Sure, if you weigh 300 pounds it’s probably not a good idea, but overall? Yoga pants are good. Always.

My opinion: Don’t hate it. Never will.

6. Giant Scarves

HP: “The worst are the girls who wear them with no coat. It makes no sense!”

Since when does fashion make sense? Men wear strips of cloth around their necks called ties when they dress up and that makes no sense either. Who cares? I will say I think men look like a douchebag when they wear them without a coat though.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

7. Pajamas in Public

HP: “It’s embarrassing!”

Works for her.

You know, I do think it looks a little odd, like you were too lazy to get dressed or something, but I can’t honestly say I hate it. It’s not a pet peeve or anything, and it’s certainly not embarrassing.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

8. Dark Lipstick

HP: “Way too Goth for me.”

Anybody remember Vampirella? Never mind.

Again with the lipstick thing? Geesh. Refer to #3. And what’s wrong with Goth? Some of my favorite students were Goth kids.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

9. Sneaker Wedges

HP: “They make your feet look weird.”

Yep. Sneaker Wedges.

I had no idea what sneaker wedges were until I searched it up on The Goggle. They’re those boxy-looking boot/sneakers that the ladies seem to like these days. I have absolutely zero problems with these things. None at all. Do I think they’re attractive? No. Do I hate them? I do not.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

10. Extra Long Nails

HP: “There’s just something gross about a girl with super long nails.”

How does she, you know, do stuff?

I have to admit I’m a little torn on this one. If we’re talking long as in the photo above I no likey. If they’re just a little long I have no problem with it. Since most women don’t go to the above extremes, I’ll assume they mean just extra-long. So . . .

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

11. High Waist Shorts

HP: “You look like you should be on Saved by the Bell.”

I’m more offended by that jacket.

While I’m not a huge fan, I don’t really have strong negative feelings about the high waist shorts. And they do sorta remind me of Kelly Kapowski on Saved by the Bell, and that’s a good thing.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

12. Gladiator Sandals

HP: “There’s nothing sexy about a big wide foot.”

Thumbs up!

 I have absolutely zero problem with these, and I don’t understand how they make your foot look big and wide. In fact, I think they’re kinda cool looking.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

13. Baseball Caps

HP: “When more than one girl in a group is wearing them, they look like a little baseball team.”

hat

Are you f*#cking KIDDING me? I LOVE hats on women, especially baseball caps. I think they’re sexy as hell. Not sure why, but I do.

My opinion: Don’t hate it. Love it.

14. Black and White Stripes

HP: “Makes you look like you work at Foot Locker.”

If she worked at Footlocker, sales would skyrocket.

Seriously? Whoever wrote this is so dumb you could put their brain in a flea’s ass and it would bounce around like a BB in a boxcar.

My opinion: Definitely don’t hate it.

15. Heavy Makeup

HP: “Natural beauty is always better.”

Raccoon Eyes? No thanks.

Finally, something I can agree with these assclowns on. I don’t like heavy make-up. Never have. Keep it natural. In addition, I don’t want a woman coming out of the bathroom that I don’t recognize.

My opinion: Hate it!

16. Drawn On Brows

HP: “I call ‘em Sharpie brows. Ugh, terrible.”

Can you say mannequin eyes?

Two in a row! Nope, not a fan of the drawn on eyebrows. I like my eyebrows real. In fact, it might freak me out to find out they were drawn or tattooed on. Hell, I don’t mind if they’re even slightly bushy, a la Brooke Shields in her heyday.

My opinion: Hate it.

17. Huge Hoops

HP: “If your hoops are bigger than your head, they’re way too big.”

Don’t those things get hooked on doorknobs and stuff?

Why would a man care how big a woman’s earrings are? I mean seriously? I know no man who would give a damn. If you find a woman attractive her earrings simply don’t figure into the equation. So dumb.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

18. Fishnet Stockings

HP: “Even on Halloween they look stupid.”

Also handy for tuna fishing.

I have never, ever known a woman who wore fishnet stockings, but judging from the photo above they definitely don’t look “stupid”, on Halloween or elsewhere. Mercy.

My opinion: Don’t hate it. At. All.

19. Knock-Off Bags

HP: “We can tell. Cut it out.”

If that’s fashionable I need to start designing handbags.

Uh, no, we can’t tell. You know, this is the item on the list that makes me think the men they interviewed for this article just might be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But no straight man I know can tell if a purse is a knock-off. Just sayin’.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

20. Red Lipstick

HP: “Red lipstick just makes women look older.”

What’s to hate here?

WHAT THE HELL IS IT WITH LIPSTICK AND YOU PEOPLE? WHO CARES?

MY OPINION: DON’T HATE IT!

21. Headbands

HP: “If you’re over seven-years-old, you’re probably too old for headbands.”

Definitely not 7.

What am I missing here? Why would headbands only be for kids? I don’t get it. I don’t get it at all. Headbands look good on women. Are these people drunk?

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

22. Clear Bra Straps

HP: “You can still see them. What’s the point?”

bra (2)

I don’t know the point of clear bra straps nor do I care. And I can’t imagine why a man would hate such a thing. I know I don’t.

My opinion: Don’t hate it.

So, let’s review. Of the 22-things the Huffington Post said men “hate” about women’s fashion, I agreed with a grand total of two. That’s a 9% agreement rate. Perhaps I’m not a typical Huffington Post reader? Perhaps the writer of this piece is out of touch with the “real men” of America?

I’m guessing the latter.

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Comments
  1. Joe says:

    Almost totally agree and had many of the same thoughts before reading each of yours. Love caps on women. Only one I disagree on is I hate black lipstick and not fond of the dark red, either.

    I will be in the lookout for peplums and gladiator sandals and the other shit on there I’ve never heard of.

  2. yolol says:

    agreed with you all the way up to the heavy makeup thing. cause bro if you cant recognize a girl with makeup on then you gotta open your eyes man its not hard

Gimme a holler.

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