Tags: Kid with no legs and one arm pulling zombie prank.
Wintry. That’s a cool word, no? But anyway . . .
Christmas songs. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, you just can’t avoid ‘em this time of year. Like most of you I have my own collection, the only difference being that mine is far superior to yours. It makes no difference if you like the classics or the contemporary, Shoe: Untied has them for you. With that in mind, let’s take a look-see into The Shoe Musical Archives to find what’s filed under “Christmas” . . .
O.K., first let’s take a look at some of my personal all-time favorites, the old rock standbys if you will:
Happy X-Mas (War is Over) – John Lennon
John singing of Christmas, peace, love, and the end of war. What more could you ask for?
Father Christmas – The Kinks
A traditional Christmas song that tells the story of a department store Santa Claus who is beaten up by a gang of poor kids who tell him to give them money instead of toys. Good times.
Punk Rock Christmas – Sex Pistols
Pretty much a straight-forward punk rock Christmas song. How they got the lads to do it I’ll never know.
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) – U2
The great U2 remake of the 1963 Darlene Love classic. Bono shreds on lead.
Little St. Nick – The Beach Boys
Christmas in the original Beach Boys style. I can’t have Christmas without this one.
Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town – Bruce Springsteen
The Boss’s live version that brings down the house. “It’s all cold down on the beach . . . “
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Chrissie Hynde
The classic as only Akron’s own Chrissie can sing it. Simply beautiful.
Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree – The Beatles
You didn’t think I’d have a mix without the the lads from Liverpool, did ya? Good stuff.
Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum – Jimmy Buffett
Along with Christmas in the Caribbean, Buffett’s best holiday party song.
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – John Mellencamp
Great rockin’ version of this Christmas classic, but with a Mellencamp touch. Great fiddle too.
Christmas All Over Again – Tom Petty
“And right down our block, little kids start to rock . . .”
Honorable Mention: Do They Know It’s Christmas? – Band Aid, Merry Christmas Baby – Bruce Springsteen, Christmas in the Caribbean – Jimmy Buffett, Santa Baby – Rev Run & The Christmas All-Stars
Next, let’s take a look at some newer fare, tunes that have caught my ear in recent years:
Christmas Time – Smashing Pumpkins
Simply one of the most beautiful, touching Christmas songs I’ve ever heard. More emotion than in any other Billy Corrigan vocal.
Everything’s Gonna to Be Cool This Christmas – Eels
Mr. E telling himself that everything’s going to work out . . . maybe.
The Man in the Santa Suit – Fountains of Wayne
Only the quirky band from the east coast could sing it like this.
Lonely Christmas Eve – Ben Folds
Ben’s version from the “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” soundtrack. Stellar.
Christmas – Blues Traveler
Bluesy number from the early 90’s. And yes, Popper blows the harmonica.
Christmas Time Again – Extreme
Maybe Gary Cherone couldn’t stick with Van Halen, but he kills this song.
The Lights and Buzz – Jack’s Mannequin
“It’s Christmas in California, And it’s hard to ignore that it feels like summer all the time, But I’ll take a west coast winter to remove my splinters. It’s good to be alive.”
Waking Up On Christmas – The Smithereens
Straight-ahead rocker by the legendary Smithereens.
Santa’s Beard – They Might Be Giants
“I saw my baby wearing Santa’s beard, She kissed him once and whispered in his ear, I saw my baby wearing Santa’s beard, I wish he would go, He’s breaking up my home . . .”
I Want an Alien for Christmas – Fountains of Wayne
FoW pretty much saying that, well, they want an alien for Christmas.
Honorable Mention: Snowman – Barenaked Ladies, Last Christmas – Jimmy Eat World, I Hate Christmas Parties – Relient K, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Sister Hazel
I also would like to mention a few other Christmas gems you might enjoy. You may not hear these in your local Wal-Mart, but here goes:
Who Put the Dick on the Snowman? – Rodney Carrington
A heartwarming story about some kids who made a snowman in honor of their father. Sure to pull at your heartstrings.
Ho Ho F***ing Ho – The Monty Python Singers
A Christmas song with a Monty Python twist. Great for Christmas office parties or church socials.
Merry F***ing Christmas – Mr. Garrison from South Park
As politically incorrect as you can possibly imagine.
I’ve Got a Boner for Christmas – Nerf Herder
Pretty much what the title suggests. Perfect for sitting on front of the fire with that special someone.
Well, there ya go. I also have a ton of the usual suspects such Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano, McCartney’s Wonderful Christmastime and the like. Yeah, yeah, I have some Alvin & The Chipmunks too. What can I say? I enjoy Christmas music of all kinds.
Want a Wintry Mix? Gimme a holler.
Originally posted on 12/13/12.
Tags: 17 of the coolest gifts for men. Or not.
So I ran across this article on break.com yesterday, and it purports to list the Top 17 Coolest Gifts for Men this Christmas. Well, as you might imagine, it begs for my razor-sharp wit and snarky insight. I’ll give a thumbs-up or thumbs-down to go along with my scintillating commentary.
Let’s get down to to it . . .
17. Christmas Story Monopoly
Let’s see. How to put this gently, yet succinctly . . . HOW THE HELL DID THIS MAKE THE LIST? I know of no man who would want this. Nary a one. It’s a Monopoly game based on a movie that was released in 1983, and it is in no way cool. Thumbs-down.
16. Squirrel Wingsuit
Hell yeah! Now we’re talkin’! I’ll jump off my garage and fly to the Cozy Inn parking lot in that sumbitch. Thumbs-up!
15. Cold Blood Paintball Mask
Yessir! I don’t play paintball, but this baby would be bad-ass to wear with my Squirrel Wingsuit as I glide around Chilly Town. Thumbs-up!
14. All-Terrain Skateboard
What the hell? How does that thing even work? How could you skateboard over rocks and whatnot? Down a hill I suppose? I don’t get it. Thumbs-down.
13. Bowling Heads
Wait. Are those zombie heads? Listen, I haven’t bowled in years but I used to love it and these bowling balls have given me the incentive to begin anew. I want, no, I need a Bowling Head yesterday. Thumbs-up!
12. The Wicked Laser
CNN called this thing “a real life light saber” and they price from $299.00 well into the thousands. Apparently they’re so bright you can see them from space. Still, what’s the point? If you can’t kill somebody with it I’m not interested. Thumbs-down.
11. Sulu Cologne
So a cologne based on a Star Trek character played by George Takei makes the list? What does it smell like, space balls? Are these people drunk? Thumbs-down.
10. Tracks Headphones
Thanks but no thanks. These are supposed to be state-of-the-art, but until I try them out I’ll stick with my Bose headphones. Thumbs-down.
9. Offroad Chair
I’m pretty sure this was invented for people who need wheelchairs, so I’m sort of confused. Do I want one? No. Is it an awesome gift for a guy that needs one? Sure. It’s just a weird gift to include on this list. Still, thumbs-up.
8. Sumo Lounge
These are supposedly all the rage right now, and they do look pretty cool. Still, to me it looks like an oversized, glorified beanbag chair, sorta like the one I had in college. On a related note, that beanbag chair I owned saw things that would make a NYC call girl blush. I miss college.
Sorry, I was reminiscing and almost forgot – thumbs-up.
7. Xbox One and PS4
Confession: I’ve haven’t played a video game since I gave my Atari away back in 1980-whatever. Not even kidding. I tried to get back into it when my son was young but I have zero interest in XBOX ONE, PS4, or R2D2. I just don’t. Thumbs-down.
6. Ron Burgundy Scotch
Hey-O! Yep, they’re selling scotch based on Will Ferrell’s Ron Burgundy character in Anchorman and are expecting people to buy it. I have one thing to say about this – they are right. Thumbs-up.
5. Virtuix Omni
This is one of those virtual reality video games where you literally run around shooting aliens and whatnot. Seems like a lot of work. Thumbs-down.
So what if nobody smokes anymore? There’s nothing cooler than whipping out a Zippo, flipping it open and giving somebody some fire. Timeless and cool personified. Thumbs-up.
3. Batmobile Golf Cart
Hells to the yah! Who among us can’t visualize yours truly rolling down to the Dairy Hut in this bad boy? C’mon former students! Start collecting money for Mr. Shoe’s Christmas present today! Thumbs-up!
Meh. Apparently this machine will convert water to soda water in the flavor of your choice. One question – WHY? Thumbs-down.
1. Arnette Glasses and Goggles
Wait. So sunglasses and goggles are Number 1 on the list? What am I missing here? Aren’t those identical to the plastic Wayfarer’s from the 80′s that every student I ever taught owned? I don’t get it. On the other hand, those goggles might come in handy when I fly around in my Squirrel Wingsuit. Still, a terrible top pick. Thumbs-down.
So there ya have it, kids. Of the seventeen, I gave only eight a thumbs-up and nine a thumbs-down. Then again, I have highly sophisticated tastes.*
And really, Sulu Cologne?
*Full disclosure: I have an army jacket I’ve worn since 1973.
Tags: See 1994 in 13-minutes
Tags: 6-year old suspended for kissing girl's hand.
CANON CITY, Colorado.
A six year old boy is suspended from school in Canon City for kissing a classmate on the hand.
His mother says it’s a crush and the two children like each other. But the school is calling it something else; sexual harassment.
First grader Hunter Yelton told us he loves science and phys-ed. Also, that he has a crush on a girl at school, who likes him back. It may sound innocent enough, but at six years old Hunter now has ‘sexual harassment’ on his school record.
“It was during class, yeah. We were doing reading group and I leaned over and kissed her on the hand. That’s what happened,” said Hunter Yelton.
Because of this behavior, Hunter was at home on Monday instead of at school.
“They sent me to the office, fair and square. I did something wrong and I feel sorry,” he said.
“She was fine with it, they are ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’. The other children saw it and went to the teacher. That was the day I had the meeting with the principal, where she first said ‘sexual harassment’. This is taking it to an extreme that doesn’t need to be met with a six year old. Now my son is asking questions – what is sex mommy? That should not ever be said, sex. Not in a sentence with a six year old,” said Hunters’ mom, Jennifer Saunders.
The superintendent at School District RE-1 says any school record remains within the district. And Hunters’ actions fit the school policy description of ‘sexual harassment’
The school district also says Hunters’ parents may believe that kissing the girl at school is overall acceptable- but that’s where the school disagrees. They’re hoping the suspension changes Hunter’s behavior.
Hunter is supposed to return to school in Canon City on Tuesday.
How dare you, Hunter Yelton! HOW DARE YOU! Are you serious? Kissing your girl on the hand? And in reading group? Sacrilege! Outrageous! Get that kid sexual harassment counseling! The fact that he doesn’t know what sex is, let alone harassment, is beside the point!
And how about those little narcs that went to the teacher? You know what I used to tell my kindergartners – snitches wind up in ditches with stitches. You best remember that, Canon City, Colorado first-graders.
But seriously, Hunter’s taking it like a man, huh? “They sent me to the office, fair and square” he says. Gotta respect that.
Nice work, School District RE-1. That’s a well thought out and fair act of discipline if I ever heard one. Way to keep a level head and not over-react. Keep up the good work. We must teach these sexual perverts a lesson!
On a related note, I would have never made it past the first week of pre-school if this type of behavior was a suspendable offense at Twin Elementary.
Tags: Corgi on a merry-go-round
I love the way he barks every single time he passes his owner.
Tags: Telling your children there is no Santa Claus.
As adults we’ve all faced it at some point, right? The dreaded question? That instant when we had to come clean and admit the massive untruth, the ultimate deception of our youth?
The moment we had to admit the BIG LIE?
The lie our parents had told us and that we’d passed down to our children?
Yes, the moment when we had to say those dreaded words . . . there is no Santa Claus.
Seriously, isn’t it the biggest fabrication ever? Even as we watch our children as they get that first glimpse of the presents Santa left, even then, aren’t we sort of shaking our heads and thinking, “Boy are you gonna be surprised someday.”
It’s sort of depressing really.
So this brings me to the moment when I had to make THE DECISION. To tell or not to tell?
It happened when my son was perhaps 7 or 8-years old, I can’t be certain but I know he was around that age. It was a few days before Christmas and he and I were returning from Chillicothe after some shopping . I believe we’d gone to town to buy something for his mother, who I had divorced a few years prior. She and I had a good relationship, still do, and I’d helped him pick something special out for her. We were on our way to meet her when it happened. Out of the blue came the question . . .
“Dad, can I ask you something? You said you’d always be honest with me.”
“Sure, anything buddy. You now that. Shoot.”
“Alright. Is Santa Claus real? A couple of the kids at school said he isn’t.”
Boom! The dreaded question. What to do? OK, let me think. Well, I’d read somewhere that if they were old enough to ask you should tell them. In addition, I didn’t want my son to look like a fool to his friends. And there was that ”I’ll never lie to you” thing, so . . .
I proceeded to tell him the truth, making sure to explain the whole “Santa is the spirit of Christmas” song and dance in great lengths. When I finished my spiel, he nodded his head, seemed cool with it, and even said:
“Yeah, that’s what I figured.”
Well, that went well. But then . . .
“But I asked mom yesterday and she said he was real.”
Oh, Good Lord. I’d really gone and done it now. Not only had I told him Santa Claus was a phony, I’d basically called his mom a liar. Not a good combination.
Well, at this point we were pulling up to meet him mom, so I told him to give me a second, that I had to talk to her privately for a minute.
There was no way this was going to go well.
I walked up to her car, leaned over, and we had this conversation:
“Well, I may have really screwed up this time.”
By the way, I’m sure this came as no shock to her.
“Well, he asked about Santa Claus and I told him the truth.”
“You told him there was no Santa Claus?”
“I did. He asked and I told him.”
“Oh, thank God. He asked me yesterday and I wanted to tell him the truth but wasn’t sure how to do it.”
Whew. Crisis averted. I guess honesty is the best policy, even when involving old Saint Nick.
But man, that was a close one.
Tags: The Amazing Arctic Fox
I could watch this kind of stuff all day. Sparky too.
Tags: Fails of the Week
Tags: Best Wins of 2013
So I have to run to town this morning to pick up some stuff and I had this conversation with a young lass at the Kroger’s checkout counter:
Me, glancing outside: “Looks like it’s starting to snow again. Hope it doesn’t get too bad. I have practice at noon.”
Checkout Girl: “What do you coach?”
Checkout Girl: “Well, you practice inside, right?”
Me. “Uh, yes, we do practice inside.”
Checkout Girl: “Then what’s the problem?”
Me, mouth agape, blank stare: “I guess there is no problem. Have a great day.”
Sorry about that title. I’m a little uptight tonight but it’ll pass. It always does. OK, deep breath . . . let us proceed.
Do you ever get sick of hearing the same worn-out cliches from the sports world and life in general? God knows I do. To begin this blog I started with 20+ phrases that I’m absolutely sick of or simply don’t understand, but with the help of my crack staff here at S:U I narrowed it down to 8. I really need to get these off my chest. Those close to me are probably sick and tired of hearing me complain about them, so consider this a bit of a soul cleansing exercise.
Here ye be:
1. “I gave 110% out there.”
No you didn’t. I hate this phrase, and not just because it’s mathematically impossible. And why is it always 110%? Why stop there? Why not 120%? 200%? 587%? Anyway, my point has always been you can’t give 110%. If you don’t believe me, try withdrawing 110% from your savings account or eating 110% of a pie. You can’t do it, damn it. Hell, I’d venture to say you can’t even give 100%. It would more than likely kill you, right? I’d say the most ball-busting, hard working, crazy-ass athlete out there is giving around 85%. Hey, you gotta rest sometime.
By the way, Pete Rose? 97%.
2. “We didn’t have enough energy.”
How many times have you heard a coach say, “They had more energy than we did.” Or, “We didn’t have a lot of energy out there.” Gawd. I hate that kind of talk. Try using that the next time you don’t meet expectations at work. “Sorry, boss, I just didn’t have a lot of energy today.” Isn’t that just another way of saying your team got out-hustled? By saying you didn’t have enough energy it’s almost like it’s out of your team’s control, that some God of Energy touched the other team pre-game but ignored yours. Just have the guts to say your team didn’t work hard.
3. “He’s very good in space.”
You know, as in “Man, #45 is a great football player. He loves the ball in space” or “He tackles well in space.” Huh? Where are we, Uranus? Didn’t we used to just say “open field?” And who isn’t better “in space?” Have you ever known a football player who was better with 5 defenders around him?
Note: Uranus jokes never get old, do they? Pure comedy gold.
4. “I’m just keepin’ it real.”
And by keeping it real they mean just letting whatever pops into their head come flying straight out of their mouth. Why is keeping it real some sort of badge of honor? Isn’t it easier to “keep it real” than otherwise? Isn’t it more honorable to hold your tongue and not always say what you’re thinking? I mean, I guess I should just go around letting whatever I’m thinking just come flying out of my mouth. “Hey, that’s one butt-ugly wife you have there, Mr. Sparnarkel” or “Hey boss, your daughter looks like a cross between Thad Matta and Rosie O’Donnell. Yikes!”
5. “Everything happens for a reason.”
Really? Does everything happen for a reason or just certain things? I only hear people say this after some serious event has taken place. For instance, this morning I stubbed my toe getting out of the shower. Did that happen for a reason? If so, what was the reason? Because I really want to know. The other day I dropped my cell phone in the urinal at Rooster’s. Reason being . . . what? I’m waiting, because you DID say everything after all. Hey, I’m as spiritual as the next guy but I’m thinking most things just happen randomly for no reason at all and people say otherwise in order to help them deal with life. If we believe things happen for a reason, that everything is going according to some master plan, then it’s out of our control and there’s no reason to worry about it and everything is going to be okie-dokie.
Man, am I a buzzkill or what?
6. “It’s going to come down to who wants it more.”
No, actually it’s going to come down to who scores the most points. Sometimes the team who wants it more actually loses. Sorry. By the way, World War II? We wanted it more.
7. “We need to get our swagger back.”
This is what we used to call confidence, right? Or are we talking about walking with a bounce in our step? Or maybe trash talking and acting like a fool? Ding! Ding! We have a winner. Still, John Wayne had swagger, right? Barney Fife did not? I’m just trying to get a handle on this because I’m confused. Here’s what Webster has to say:
“To walk or conduct oneself with an insolent or arrogant air. To strut.”
And this helps you win games how? Maybe it’s just me, but I always thought other things helped you win games. You know, like hard work and practice.
8. “It is what it is.”
Well, yeah. What else would it be other than what it is? It can’t be what it isn’t, correct? Jeesh.
So those are my top 8. Of course, there are a couple clichés that are actually useful, such as “It’s not you, it’s me.” That usually works by the way. And in my case it actually was usually me. Hey, just keepin’ it real.
Alright, I’m out. I’m sure I’ll think of several more as I go take Sparky for a walk. Perhaps I shall swagger along the way, who knows. Lord knows Sparky will. I don’t know who will get the most out of this little excursion, but it will surely come down to who wants it more. I’m guessing that will be the dog, because I plan to release him from the leash when we get to the open field, where he runs best in space. Hopefully we will suffer no horrific accident along the way, but if we do, feel secure in the knowledge that it happened for reason, because after all, it is what it is.
Note: I only gave 39% on this blog. Not enough energy.
Originally published on April 12th, 2012.
Tags: Getting bad habits from mom.
Sometimes kids say things and even I don’t have a witty retort.
I know, hard to believe, but it happens . . .
This happened during an conversation between me and one of my players this morning. I’ll change the name to protect the foul-mouthed:
“Hey Shorty, you really need to watch your language. You have a toilet mouth, you know that?”
“Sorry coach. I get it from my mom.”
Sometimes it’s best just to walk away . . .
I knew these things were creepy the minute I laid eyes on them. I just got a bad vibe. Turns out I was right, and lovable little pixies they are not. Just remember, he sees you when you’re sleeping . . .
Sleep lightly, Elf on a Shelf owners. Sleep lightly.
Tags: Delaney the Scottish Terrier, The Death of a Pet
Note: I run this every year on September 8th and December 7th.
Five years ago today I lost the best little friend I ever had.
Well, at least before Sparky.
I first laid eyes on Delaney in early December of 2000. She was a 4-year old rescue and my ex-wife and I had to go pick her up from the Dayton Scottish Terrier Club of America. She was unrecogizable as a Scottie. Her hair was long and unkempt, totally full of knots. When we reached down to pet her she would immediately hit the floor, going flat on her stomach. She just assumed she was going to be hit. Del had been terribly abused by her owners. She trusted nobody, and would growl and shy away from anyone who tried to touch her. It would be over a year before she would even lick your hand. She had no idea how to love or show compassion. When we brought her home to meet her new brother Poe, she growled and nipped at him, generally making his life miserable for several months.
Over time, Del learned that we weren’t going to hurt her. She slowly and gradually warmed up to us, but it seemed to take forever. When she finally opened up to us, her incredible personality was revealed. She was a fiesty, tough, animated, energetic little girl, albeit one with a giant chip on her shoulder. She had the most amazing eyes and expressions that just spoke to you. When she wanted something, she never hesitated to let you know with a yelp and a nudge of her nose. In fact, she came quite proficient at using that nose as a battering ram. If a door was left even slightly ajar, you could soon expect Del to come barging in to see what you were up to. To make matters worse, she taught her brother the same trick.
Tags: Roomba Cat Shark
I can’t stop, won’t stop watching.
Tags: Best fails
Tags: Get Off the Phone Song
Tags: Shirtless germasn interrupt newscast.
I don’t know which is weirder, the shirtless Germans or the caterpillar crawling up that woman’s chest.
Tags: Pretentious Christmas Cards
Note: I realize I’m about to upset some of my friends and loyal followers. Please do not take this personally. I love you, I really do. I just don’t love certain things that some of you do. If you’re guilty of the following act of insanity, please remember that’s it’s just a small part of who you are and I realize that. Perhaps you’ll see the light and grow out of it someday. For that I can only pray. As for me, I simply ask that you accept me for the judgmental SOB that I am.
Well, Christmas is quickly approaching, and along with it the annual onslaught of Christmas cards. This dizzying barrage of goodwill can come in a variety of forms, from the old-fashioned “Noel” or “Nativity Scene” cards to the more neutral cards that say “Happy Holidays” or “Happy Holiday Season!” or something along those lines.
Some folks go with the family photo card, which is sort of nice. Those always bring responses such as . . .
“Oh, look! Little Bobby Boo has braces!”
Or . . .
“How adorable. Mindy has let her hair grow out.”
Or . . .
“Hey! Aunt Dorothy shaved her mustache!”
Or sometimes . . .
“Wow, look at Jackie. Has she ballooned up or what? Chick looks like she ate Santa Claus.”
But over the past several years another trend has begun to rear it’s ugly head, and that trend is what I like to call The Christmas Card Family Manifesto. These are those full page (at least) dissertations on anything and everything that’s going on in the sender’s family. I swear I received a couple last year that made me feel as if I was reading the old testament.
Every single family member is singled out, every bit of minutia of their life is described, all apparently in an attempt to prove that their lives, by God, are much, much better than yours.
And the tone? It’s so damn joyous that you just know their lives can’t be that perfect. It’s almost as if they’re over-compensating, trying way too hard to convince us, or even themselves, that they’re happy.
Here’s an example:
Our oldest, Clyde, has completed his doctorate degree in Fermentation Sciences and plans to open his own brewery after traveling to Botswana for a year and volunteering in a Leper Colony. So, is your son still clerking down at the Sack ‘n’ Save?
Yeah, they don’t really write that last part but it’s sort of insinuated, ya know?
I mean, holy shit, how pretentious can people be? Why in God’s name would they think we’d care if their little grandson Ezekiel was named one of 14 captains on the soccer team or their niece Sophie finished 3rd in her elementary school’s yodeling competition?
Just for kicks, I think I’ll send out my own faux Christmas Card Novella. You know, just to screw around with people. It’ll go something like this . . .
Happy Holidays everyone! I hope you’ve had a fabulous year! Here at the Shoemaker household things have been super!
In March I was finally busted for that Meth Lab I was operating out of my garage. It’s a shame because business was going SO well! My fifth graders LOVED LOVED LOVED my product! Anywho, I’m out on bail now but my attorneys say the prospects of a short sentence are good. By the way, I’ll be needing character witnesses for the sentencing phase so keep February open! Thanks! xxxoooxxx
That little scamp Sparky is as ornery as ever! In June he killed and ate the neighbor’s Miniature Schnauzer but escaped through a hole in their back fence and was on my lap watching Animal Planet like nobody’s business! LOL! Oh, he hacked up some internal organs on my carpet but otherwise the whole incident went undetected! The Miller’s are still looking for their little Bingo!
As for Kip, remember that series of chainsaw murders over in Highland County? Well, don’t ask! And here I thought he was really getting into wood sculpting! Seriously though, mum’s the word!
You know, I just re-read those last four paragraphs and I’ve come to realize I made need some sort of counseling. Have mercy.
Bottom line? I hate those long Christmas card manifestos.
On a related note, that sound you hear is several hundred people erasing my name off their Christmas mailing list.
I guess my work here is done.
Tags: Ashley Hahn, Billy Hahn, Kathi Hahn
One of my best friends on this earth is a man named Billy Hahn. I’ve known Billy for nearly 30-years. As a man who has coached college basketball at Ohio University, the University of Maryland, LaSalle and West Virginia University, Billy Hahn is a remarkable man in his own right. I’ve learned more from him than almost anybody. But even Billy can’t hold a candle to his amazing wife Kathi. She’s survived 2-bouts with different types of cancer, and her daughter Ashley has written an inspirational book about her entitled “My Mom the Miracle: 1 Woman, 2 Cancers, 3 Years, 4-Ever Grateful.” Today, Kathi and Ashley were on The Today Show to tell their story. In addition, the announcers at the West Virginia-Missouri game spoke of the story this evening.
Here are videos from both the game tonight and The Today Show this morning. The quality is poor but you’ll get the message. Kathi, you’re an inspiration to millions now.
Tags: Paul Walker Tribute Video
Tags: Auburn fans reactions to Alabama game are fake.
So everyone has seen the videos of fans watching the Auburn finish against Alabama last Saturday, right? I posted a compilation shortly after the game. Anyway, after thoughtful study I’ve reached a disturbing conclusion . . .
Many of them are fake.
Here me out on this one, I’m dead serious. First off, why were they filming themselves? The game was tied and Alabama was attempting a very long field goal. 99.999% of the people were expecting the kick to be missed and the game to go into overtime. Maybe, maybe I can see an Alabama fan filming in case the field goal was made, but Auburn? Makes no sense. Nobody was expecting what happened to happen.
Secondly, think about this. The player caught the missed field goal, ran up the sideline, almost stepped out of bounds, then scored a touchdown. As a fan, what would your first reaction be? To grab your kid off the couch and roll around on the floor? To run out of the room screaming? No. You would wait. You’d get closer to the screen, tell everybody to shut up, and make sure there were no flags or to see if he’d stepped out of bounds. Hell, to just make sure what you’d just seen, something so highly unexpected and unusual, was going to be allowed.
You can’t fool me, Auburn frauds.
War Damn Eagle my ass.
Wouldn’t you wait to celebrate?